The Sims Social – I dont get it

•January 29, 2012 • 1 Comment

Could please be someone so kind and explain to me the fascination with the sims-games?

I never played one of these, but last week, I tried the sims social on facebook. I played a bit the next days but all in all I find this game quite boring. My sim felt like one of these old tamagochis, you remember? – feeding him, sending him to the bathroom, keeping him happy: Its a game about a live! All the things you do in your every-day routine – why would you want to play this as a game O.o. Why not just go out and live the life you want – why doing it with an avatar.

I can understand the allure of a lot of games. I myself love good rpgs (my gatewaydrug: baldurs gate 2  *.* – Ill never forget you, oh my first love *sigh* ). But the Sims??? Why?!? Its just so unappealing, boring, senseless from my point of view. Please explain ‘o.o`

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Failed

•January 20, 2012 • 2 Comments

At the moment, Im in the last phase of college: The one with all the tests. Yesterday was my last oral examination – 60 minutes – two professors. First one I passed, second one I didnt. A mix of questions which had nothing to do with the preparation I did (which was approved by my examiner), a rising uncertainity and desperation plus more and more black blanks in my brain were my downfall. But most of the time I was completly paralized over questions that I havent touched within my college years. Which are in fact  the subject of other disciplines. In the end, because of the addition of both marks, I passed the test in a whole. Barely.

First thought: “Shit, you wont get a job!” (something has to be wrong with the world when thats the first question that pops into your head)

It’s hard to describe the feeling after such a situation. After weeks of learning, a head that felt at the edge of exploding you suddenly get such a result. And a feeling of being a failure alongside a paralization. Feeling like you are standing beside yourself. I could scream and cry (in fact I did).

So now Im picking up the pieces, trying not to get pulled down too much and am gratefull about my friends. I try to think more positive, that it was just a test, and that I passed after all. And that there are still the 3 writing exams at the beginning of march, which are also affecting my end-grade. On the other hand I’m astonished what an impact such an experience can have on a person.

Oh so tired

•January 15, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Motivational-Level under Zero.

3 days till my last oral examination. My sleeprythm is total trash. Working till 4 am, then sleeping. It was ok the last days but today, I feel so knocked up, slept half day. Now Im sitting with my freshly brewed green tea in front of my desk, staring at the masses of papers I should be learning. And I keep on staring. Head feels empty. The only thing that keeps me (slightly motivated) is the clock. 3 days till the oral examination – 52 days and the 3 written exams will also be done. And I will have my degree.

Wait – just 3 more days?! What am I doing here – I have to work O.O

…nothing more usefull than panic ….

Better than others

•January 14, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Not long ago, I talked with a friend of mine, M. about some old classmates (we both were at the same school and are currently studying) .

I told her about S., a girl I was very good friend with, but now have almost nothing to do with anymore. There was a catch-up-meeting some weeks ago with her and some other old friends. When arranging this meeting, her comments where always bitchy, like “I dont have time that day!” “Is anybody asking me when I have time ?” everything that came from here was dripping with some kind of annoying arrogance .

That was what I told M. Her reply was:

M: “Hmm…She didnt study, right? She did an aprrenticeship, right?”

me: O.o “Well….aehm..yeah. But what has that to do with it?”

M.: “You see, I dont have any contact anymore with a lot of people who were very close to me. They did an apprenticeship and when I started studying, they started acting strange…arrogant even. They started to detache themself from me.”

M. was quite sad about that. I know one of these people and they were pretty close. What surprised me, was that she was right – I just never really realized it: A lot of people I’ve met/worked with (f.e. Ive worked in a bakery, as a weitress,..) had this partial arrogant attitude (I want to stress here – not all of course! some of them). I had once even a conversation with a girl who worked with me in a bakery about the same topic.

She: “Students are all big arrogant stupid idiots”

I stood there, with wide eyes, and a little voice in me demonstrated “But…but I’m nice ;_;” It is like there are some people out there, who arent satisfied with themself or their jobs, so they are going defensive even at the thought of people with a college education – and they attack them, before anyone can attack themself. What surprises me is this generalization of a whole group of people. Idiots exist everywhere. And sure, there are arrogant students – but of course not all of them. Youre not a better person with or without a degree. There are far more important things in life. Your job, money, education says nothing about the character of a person. Its that kind of small-mindedness I despise. No matter what group of people is concerned. Someone who makes such a dumb statement is always an idiot.

Thats a generalization I stand behind.

German Music – Jupiter Jones: Still

•January 12, 2012 • Leave a Comment

The Song “Still”  from Jupiter Jones was quiet a big hit in Germany. Its a beautiful sad ballad with deep lyrics.

The Title itself, “Still”, is translated with “Quiet”/ “Silence”. Basically its about breaking-up. The moment two people realize: this is it, this is the end. The silence of leaving, the feeling of being lost, not being able to sleep and not being able to understand this empty feeling, no matter how many songs you write about it.

here is a link to the original lyrics and an english trainslation (I rewrote a bit of the translation)

Still

So still,
dass jeder von uns wusste,
das hier ist für immer,
für immer und ein Leben
und es war so still,
dass jeder von uns ahnte,
hierfür gibt’s kein Wort,
das jemals das Gefühl beschreiben kann.

So still, dass alle Uhren schwiegen,
ja, die Zeit kam zum erliegen,
so still und so verloren gingst du fort,
so still und so verloren gingst du fort.

(Refrain:)
Ich hab so viel gehört und doch kommt’s niemals bei mir an,
das ist der Grund warum ich nachts nicht schlafen kann,
wenn ich auch tausend Lieder vom Vermissen schreib,
heißt das noch nicht, dass ich versteh’,
warum dieses Gefühl für immer bleibt.

So laut, die Stunden nach dem Aufschlag, als es galt,
das alles zu erfassen und verstehen, und es war
so laut, dass alles was wir dachten nichts als Leere zu uns brachte,
so laut und so verloren war es hier,
als Stille bei uns wohnte anstatt Dir.

Ich hab so viel gehört und doch kommt’s niemals bei mir an,
das ist der Grund warum ich nachts nicht schlafen kann,
wenn ich auch tausend Lieder vom Vermissen schreib,
heißt das noch nicht, dass ich versteh,
warum dieses Gefühl für immer bleibt.

So still, obwohl ich dich mit jedem Tag vermiss`
und wo immer du auch gerade bist,
du zeigst mir, dass Stille jetzt dein Freund geworden ist.

Ich hab so viel gehört und doch kommt’s niemals bei mir an,
das ist der Grund warum ich nachts nicht schlafen kann,
wenn ich auch tausend Lieder vom Vermissen schreib,
heißt das noch nicht, dass ich versteh,
heißt das noch nicht, dass ich versteh,

Ich hab so viel gehört und doch kommt’s niemals bei mir an,
das ist der Grund warum ich nachts nicht schlafen kann,
wenn ich auch tausend Lieder vom Vermissen schreib,
heißt das noch nicht, dass ich versteh`,
warum dieses Gefühl für immer bleibt.

———————-

Quiet

So quiet,
that every one of us knew,
this is forever,
forever and a lifetime.
And it was so quiet,
that every one of us suspected,
there isn’t a word for this,
that could ever describe that feeling.

So quiet, that all clocks remained silent,
yes, all time stopped,
as you left. so quiet and lost
as you left. so quiet and lost

I have heard so much, but I still dont get it
that’s the reason why I can’t sleep at night.
Even if I write a thousand songs about missing,
that doesn’t mean that I understand,
why this feeling lasts forever.

So loud, the hours after the crash,
when I had to grasp and to understand it all,
so loud, that everything we knew brought us nothing but emptiness.
So loud and so lost was it here,
as silence lived with us instead of you.

I have heard so much, but I still dont get it
that’s the reason why I can’t sleep at night.
Even if I write a thousand songs about missing,
that doesn’t mean that I understand,
why this feeling lasts forever.

So silent, although I miss you every day,
and wherever you are right now,
you show me, that silence became your friend.

I have heard so much, but I still dont get it
that’s the reason why I can’t sleep at night.
Even if I write a thousand songs about missing,
doesn’t mean that I understand,
doesn’t mean that I understand.

I have heard so much, but I still dont get it
that’s the reason why I can’t sleep at night.
Even if I write a thousand songs about missing,
that doesn’t mean that I understand,
why this feeling lasts forever.

The joy of small things

•January 11, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I was looking for a pen when I found some long forgotten sweets in a back corner of my desk – happy like a child on christmas ❤

The Art of Procrastination

•January 11, 2012 • Leave a Comment

…after all, it is an artform, isnt it?

Im sitting here, with my freshly brewed cup of green tea and Im worried. I shockingly discovered that this was my last green tea-bag – so how am I supposed to keep on working through the next hours!? (and no, coffee isnt an option – its almost 9pm here and I just dont like coffee this late in the evening).

Of course, if I had worked earlier this day, I would be done by now, but wheres the fun in that? (ok, working late isnt so much fun either…). It would all go a lot easier if you would just sit down at your desk and work (big test next week – normaly should be motivation enough, right?)

Again and again Im amazed how much time you can spend, randomly clicking through the internet, wirting this mail, reading that article, but its all so interesting out of the sudden! And whooooooooooooosh – day is over!

One of my favorite videos about Procrastination comes from Lev Yilmaz. He pretty much summes it up. Btw, check out the rest of his work. Pretty nice videos – and a great way of not doing what youre supposed to do right now.

ps…perhaps Im getting a coffee after all -.-